Quinoa Tacos (or Taquos, if you're nasty)

Maybe "nasty" isn't a welcome word in the title of a food blog post. But if you don't get the Janet Jackson reference, maybe you don't belong here. WAIT! Please stay. I promise these Taquos are worth putting up with my snark.

So your family is having tacos and you're having a battle with the scale. Don't fret, amiga. You can have healthy, filling, totally soul-satisfying "tacos" without hating yourself.

Ingredients:
Romaine lettuce
1/2 cup prepared taco meat
1/2 cup prepared quinoa

For the sauce: 1/4 cup sour cream, 1/4 cup plain nonfat greek yogurt, 1/4 cup salsa (I like verde, but your choice.) This is a really easy sauce to customize, too, depending on what you have handy. You can add jalapenos (pickled or fresh), fresh cilantro, lime. Add a little salt to taste and you've got a yummy light topper or dip for all things Mexican.

Easy enough. Just mix the taco meat and quinoa and serve as lettuce wraps. Top with sauce.

Enjoy the poison. ☠

Funfetti Pancakes

If you've been looking for a special birthday breakfast for your littles, this just might be it. It's Funfetti cake mix pancakes with a side of -- as Wilford Brimley might say -- the "diabetus." Yeah, they're unapologetically sweet and colorful and FUN, so knock it off and make 'em for your precious snowflake on her big day. It's only once a year. And don't forget to serve them with a side of bacon, also covered in sprinkles because those little a-holes are everywhere once you crack their seal.

Makes: A load. Like, seriously, you will be pawning these off on passers-by.
Ingredients:
1 box Pillsbury Funfetti cake mix
1 cup flour
2 eggs
2 1/4 c milk

One secret to great pancakes is to make your better well ahead of time and let it rest. Simmer down. You don't HAVE to.

Do we need instructions for pancakes? Well, I'm nothing if not a little touched by OCD, so here goes.
Mix all ingredients. Rest batter, if desired. Heat up a griddle until a drop of water sizzles and dances on it. Butter griddle or spray with nonstick spray. Pour on your batter and wait until you see bubbles on the surface to turn. If your batter is too thick, add milk. If you want to hold them, set your oven to "warm" and keep them in there until ready to serve.

Top your pancakes with whipped cream and sprinkles. I served three per plate and put a little whipped cream between each pancake which made for a new breakfast game we dubbed "Slide-y fall-y pancake mess."

Enjoy the poison. ☠

Cheater Chili

This chili is full of flavor. No scavenging the depths of the fridge to find something (God, anything) to give this one a boost. It's cheater chili because it uses a couple of shortcuts to add flavor fast.

Makes About 10 cups. 

Ingredients:
1 medium yellow onion, diced
3 ribs celery, diced
1/2 green pepper, diced
2 T olive oil
1 T butter
2 lbs beef
28 oz. crushed tomatoes
2-3 cans traditional Chili Magic beans
2 cups beef broth
1/2 package chili seasoning mix

Heat oil and butter over medium heat in your big soup pot or Dutch oven. Once the butter is bubbly, add the Holy Trinity (onion, celery, green pepper). Saute until soft. Remove veggies from pot and set aside.

Prep your meat, if necessary. You can use tri-tip steak, round steak, etc., and chop it into little cubes. It helps to partially freeze it. I like using cube steak, diced. You can also just use ground beef. Just remember, good quality meat makes good quality chili. Bad beef makes tomato-y, bean-y crap.
Add your meat to the hot pan and brown.

Once your meat is nicely browned, add veggies back in. Add your tomatoes.

Now the beans. If you can't find the Chili Magic, any old beans will do, but these add a beautiful texture to the soup and every bean is full of chili goodness.

Add your beef broth to your desired consistency. Two cups makes me happy.  Finally, add a prepared chili seasoning to your own tastes.

I like this one because it comes with a separate hot pack and masa flour, so you can customize your chili. I used about half the packet.

Heat it all up and eat it immediately if you want to. I subscribe to the theory that chili is better after some time. So I typically make this in the morning and then transfer it to my crockpot to cook on low until dinner time. It would be super terrific after a night in the fridge, too.

That's it. Top that yumminess with cheese, sour cream, green onions. Serve it over macaroni or spaghetti. Freeze your leftovers and turn it into Chili Mac by adding cooked elbow macaroni and way too much freshly shredded cheddar cheese.

Here's the finished product. Whoopsie, did I top my Cheater Chili with so many yummy extras that you can't see it? Sorry about that.

Enjoy the poison. ☠

Poison for Dinner?

"Mom! What's for dinner?"
"Poison."
You see, that's my answer more often than not because I've learned over my 11 years of motherhood that no matter what I say is for dinner, the response from my daughters will typically be, "I don't like that." So when it's not poison for dinner, it's worms ... or oatmeal, which is probably not instilling a healthy respect for that particular superfood in my young eaters.

I'm a mom of two tweens (10 and 11) with palates that are still developing and often changing. My youngest, for example, when offered her choice of cuisines for her birthday dinner this week chose -- ta da -- buttered noodles. For lunch today? Buttered noodles. She might be prepping for a marathon or something. I'm not sure. She's been buried in her computer for months. My eldest is my more adventurous eater at the moment. She's tried sushi and everything.

I'm not a trained chef, but more of a Food Network cook. My dad is a foodie with excellent technical and artistic ability in the kitchen. As with many of the best chefs though, his answers are often vague or blatantly dismissive when asked for his secrets. So I'm on my own -- just me and Ina and Tyler, that is.

You can come here for actual recipes that are not always organic-whole food-quinoa-infused health bombs. But I do try now and again to introduce my kids to nutrients. I would describe many of my dishes as semi-homemade, but don't expect matching cocktails or tablescapes. It's food kids will actually eat ... usually.

Enjoy the poison. ☠